RAP | 關於和老外共用廚房

HANA 花 -

就算英文爛如我
搭配影片聽這首歌還是可以了解他的意思
Bomani Armah自稱Not a rapper
(網址還是www.notarapper.com)
但，這對我來說這還是rap啊真抱歉

明天就是墨爾本最後一天
應該永遠不會回來這個住了一個月的地方了吧
想起來就混感傷啊

這棟房子有九間房間共12個人
有來自英國、法國、非洲、阿拉伯和澳洲當地人
因為廚房是共用的
我又天天開伙
所以跟室友們最好的交流時間就是在廚房

重點是
老外總以為我煮的就是「道地的中國台灣菜」

為了不丟台灣的臉
每次有老外在旁邊做勢想看我在煮啥
我都壓力十足
滿腦子想著要為國爭光
讓全世界人都知道台灣的美食
是多摸地好吃
是多摸地美味
為了祖國本花可是拼了老命擠出一些名堂來煮
像是宮保雞丁、炒羊肉、四物雞湯、麻婆豆腐等等

有天有個沙烏地阿拉伯人跟我說
「我很想跟妳請教幾道菜」
讓我整個汗顏
我來澳洲之前根本不太煮飯
完全是半路出家 每天煮飯之前猛Google
說要跟我請教台灣菜怎麼煮實在是太太不敢當啊
在我滿腦迴腸，苦思過後
終於想說「好那我就教他炒羊肉好了」
因為熱炒是中式料理特色，炒羊肉片對他們來說也很特別
更別說沙茶醬和米酒，他們應該會覺得學習這道菜真是與有榮焉吧

但過幾天這個沙烏地阿拉伯人就搬走了
怯～害我認真的咧

後來有天有個法國人在做可麗餅之類的 (歐洲人怎麼這麼愛做這種)
我剛好正在煮蕃茄炒蛋
可是我忘記詳細食譜，想說憑印象老娘應該也做得出來
結果整個蕃茄都縮起來，蛋加太多水變很噁心
整鍋的黃黃紅紅油水分離，極度不堪入目
一點也沒有台灣味也一點都不大器

正在很囧的時候，那個法國人問了
「膩在煮什麼呢？」
為了不破壞蕃茄炒蛋在老外心中的印象
我就說
「呃～沒什麼啦！這不是台灣菜哦！我亂煮而已」
他居然說
「看七來痕不錯耶！痕好吃的央子」

你說老外虛不虛偽？

{democracy:48}
對了，這邊每星期一都會有**清潔工奶奶**來打掃 所以大家都很有默契 星期天晚上 絕對不洗碗 不過昨天不知怎樣清潔工奶奶沒來 廚房落得這個下場 [![IMG_0001IMG_0001](http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2520/4165903661_1c83e47a08.jpg)](http://www.flickr.com/photos/hanamitsuki/4165903661/ "Flickr 上 花水妹 的 IMG_0001")

在這樣的情況下煮飯就像打仗一樣
然後因為已經夠亂了
好像就更不需要整理了(什麼道理？)

今天清潔工奶奶來了
看到這樣的情景，暴怒
拍了照片然後打電話給房東
房東第一時間就Email給我們全體
說我們「違反租屋條約」
這是清潔工拍的證據

原來清潔工的工作沒有包含洗碗啊

以下是Email全文

———————–
To All Guests

It has been brought to our attention that some of the houses rules from Section B: “Health issues” contained in your license that you signed prior to commencing your stay with us are not being abided by. Specifically we are concerned with the condition of the common areas which are being left untidy. We believe that a clean, tidy, caring and mutually sharing environment will achieve great benefits as well as comfortable and supportive home away from home for all our residents.

Please read below segments taken from your license for reference.

House Policy

At our Apartment Homes, we expect residents to respect each other’s right for safety, privacy, and the quiet enjoyment of the property. This means, courtesy, sharing and co-operation in the use of all communal facilities and areas. We strongly believe that, a caring and mutually sharing environment will achieve great benefits, such as, lasting friendships, and an independent lifestyle, as well as, a comfortable and supportive home away from home for all our residents.

Section B: Health Issues:

  1. All cups, plates, cutlery etc, must be promptly returned to the kitchen and put away. They should not be left in the bedrooms.

  2. Each resident is expected to wash and put away their kitchen utensils and clean the benches. If a dishwasher is available, dishes are to be stacked in the dishwasher for washing later that same day.

  3. Cleaning of kitchen electrical equipment after use i.e. microwave, grillers, oven and sandwich maker, should be done by the person who has used these items on the same day.

  4. All common areas should be kept clean from cups, dishes, newspapers, cutlery, etc. after use.

I would also like to remind you that your personal food items are to be kept either in your allocated space in the fridge, freezer or cupboard space. Other personal items are to be kept in your room only. Should you leave any of the above items out you risk them being disposed of. Lastly, I would like to express if this matter is not handled, we would need to hold a house meeting, due to the unacceptable house cleanliness circumstances.

Please note that if you are identified as not abiding by these conditions and responsibilities it may result in eviction and or loss of your deposit.

If you have any questions or concerns, please don’t hesitate to contact us.

Thanking you,